Apologies in Advance

I figured I'd say that before even posting these:

1. I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned out to
be an optical Aleutian.

2. Two hats were hanging on a hat rack in the hallway. One hat said to the
other, "You stay here, I'll go on ahead."

3. No matter how far you push the envelope, it will still be stationery.

4. Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie.

5. I was wondering why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then it hit me.